Listen

Hey folks! Looks like the Night Owl is still up... *sighs* I hope all is well with everyone.

Lately, I've been feeling really emotional. It's been hitting me since last week. A lot of memories, not so good ones have been flooding my brain. To the point where they burst and began leaking from my eyes. The kind of pain that many bury away into the depths of their minds. Almost like a scab that doesn't completely heal, because it's constantly picked at.

That was a wake up call for me, to sit back and listen to what I say. Sometimes we have to pay attention to our comments and thoughts. Take a look around you and see what the condition of your world is. Could what you observe be a clue as to what you feel internally? It's not time for me to take yet another moment of self reflecting.

Listen to what your "gut" is telling you, you may find the answers to what you've been looking for. My unhealthy dose of emotional distress has finally passed. I began listening to myself once again, blocking out external components. Sometimes your outside world interferes with your inner peace. Only if you let it.

Take out a little time and focus on what your senses are telling you to do. You never know...

Until next time folks
Millah Out!

Insomniac at Large

Relax, close your eyes, and take a deep breath
Just sleep
It's not something that comes to me so easily
Quietness surrounds me
Constant thoughts
An act so simple, yet so difficult for me to conquer
Constant cycle
Thoughts racing
Non stop
Take a moment
Nothing
Detachment
Physical changes
Mind, body and soul
Wee hours in the morning
Others are just getting their days started
While I'm ending mine
Off and on
On and off
Emptiness
Sleepiness
Nothing
Mind babble
Mental vomit
Corrupts my every move
Dictating my words and actions
Attachment to the old
Time to make room for a new
A new adventure
A new life
My head is pounding
I live in my head
It's time to release
Stop fighting it
My dear it is time
Time for understanding and patience

It's time to let go
Now is the time to sleep
Until next time folks
Millah Out!

It is not Your job...

Hello folks! I hope all is well with you ladies and gents. I am currently enjoying my free afternoon, just relaxing. I just had a mini issue, which has inspired me to blog about it.

It is not Your job to make anyone around you feel comfortable. It seems throughout my entire life, I was always told not to say certain things or do certain things. I was always told what is and isnt appropriate to such an extent that I reinvented myself into a person that blended in. The real truth is even then I always seemed to have stood out. Almost to the point of embarrassment. I was always talked about, laughed at, or whatever.

So even then I wasn't fooling anyone, I was always a tad bit different. I now stopped the blending in that I once used as a defense mechanism. I tell a little of my story, to let people know Be Yourself. You don't have to change yourself unless you feel it's time to do so. It isn't your job to make others accept you. Half of the time people are not comfortable with themselves, so they tend to project these feelings into another person.

When you are truly yourself, people that are meant to be in your life will accept you for who you are. So don't alter yourself just so others can be comfortable.

Until next time folks!
Millah Out

All About You

Hello folks! I pray all is well with you all. Things lately for me have been flowing, there's no better way to describe it. Although, my sleeping schedule can do better... Was cleaning out my closet and I found my prom dress and graduation dress from 8th grade! I can even still fit them smh! I didn't grow much I guess.

Now back to the title at hand! When is the last you can recall just being alone? Not many phone calls, just quietness, you just being? If you cannot remember, then some You time is well overdue! I was generally to myself yesterday and it didn't feel weird. It took awhile for me to get to a state where I'm good with just me being alone.

So today's blog is dedicated to spending time with yourself. You never know what surprises are in store. Especially when you've accepted yourself.

Until next time folks
Millah Out!

Experiences... Elevation

Hello folks! It's been a little while, I apologize. My life has been having some ups and downs recently. So this blog is dedicated to Change. Change of lifestyle and experiences which can lead to elevation of oneself.

Someone today has told me that I'm too young to suffer with stress. This person stated that I'm too young to experience it to the point of where I suffer with migraines occasionally.

I feel.... That's a load of poppycock! Why I say that is because, the experiences that I have lived through is what makes me who I am today. We all at one point in time or another are faced with life lessons disguised as challenges filled with adversity.

Everyone in this world no matter how young or old faces some sort of stress. How we handle the stress is really where the change may spring into action. Every decision we make can cause us to gain and also lose something. What we gain and lose is up to us to figure it out.

The moral of this story is... I go through every life lesson for a specific reason, for a greater purpose towards my life. The same goes for all of you! So choose wisely!

Until next time folks!
Millah Out

This one is for the Gents (sorry Ladies)

Gentlemen... Is all I can say. You men come in all shapes and sizes. Some of you may not always have the words to express your true feeling, so instead you show us women.

A real man.... Once again the definition others have for it now isn't quite what I have in mind. My definition of a real man is a gentleman that sticks by his lady, supports her (emotionally,mentally, physically). When times get difficult he isn't a man that strays away from responsibility. The kind of man you count on for kind words and a strong hug when you need one.

I do not believe A "Real Man" can only be defined by his material possessions. Sorry folks! No goody bags being handed out for that. It annoys me that so many people are bedazzled at the fact that a man has a car or his own place.

Material possessions are fine gentlemen. As long as that's not your only way to attract. Broad shoulders, smooth skin, beautiful smile, great conversation. You are the other half to the puzzle, which makes the circle of life complete. Without a man there will be no women and without women there will be no men. We need eachother to build nations, to build families, to sustain life.

The values of a man has become fuzzy due to what they portray you as in society. Some men today are not living up to their fullest potential. Some men disrespect their people and especially their women. All I want to say is I love your masculinity, how proud you stand. Just know the troubles you men face everyday, is not all in vain. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

So men stand tall, proud, speak with authority, and help us women rebuild the nation. The way it truly was intended to be.

I know I said this one was going to be made awhile ago, but I needed to give it the proper words to show my appreciation for you.

I love y'all
Millah Out

Old Habits Die Hard

Happy Thursday folks! This work week is almost over! Thank goodness. I've been zombied out this whole week thus far.

So lately I've been satisfying my fix for mental stimulation and really awesome conversation with someone. This person is definitely a pleasant surprise since last week. I find it very interesting that I feel as if I've known this person longer. This is type of person you would hope to grow with someday.

So we were hanging out last night for an hour or so. My actions when we greeted each other is why I'm posting a blog now lol. So when we hugged each other, was a lot of "togetherness" in a way. Nothing happened physically at all, but it could've easily been one of those I Miss You kind of hugs. So I cut the hug short.

You must be thinking... Why break off a good hug, right? Well, the answer is quite simple. I am a young woman that has certain issues with showing affection at time, especially if I feel it's too early to feel that way.

When it comes to feeling emotions, logic gets fuzzy or is too strict on the rules of choices. I'm more of the logics girl. I would prefer not to deal with emotions, but that's not possible. So I'm going to start tapping into my more emotional side and acknowledging it does exist and needs to be understood.

Until next time folks
Millah Out!